I was there for 22 years, and had planned to go for another year and change, but the climate there had become more and more- inclement. Much administrative squirreliness, which in turn caused layoffs and office closures/consolidations. Since last October, we've had 'em rolling in, wave after wave, like a series of Tsunami.
I'd been hanging on, but this last wave finally did me in. Just had that one special day(that I-can't-take-this-shit-anymore day I think we all have in us)and that was it. May 29th, 2013.
All the elements I already hated about my job in there in their full irritating regalia: working the front counter with a never-ending line of unpleasant clients. They want to vent and you're the first person handy, so you hear a lot of bellyaching--a part of the job up there is turning off their verbal faucet so you can just get the damn problem fixed. It was an especially intense morning, with problem after problem after complaint after complaint.
Thinking about it later, I figured I had a lot more days just like that one ahead of me. And --having already worked a whole lot of days some possibly even worse than that, with more in front of me, I began to feel a bit sandwiched in. I've referred to this job as a shit sandwich, but in this instance I felt like the turd in the middle. Sorry Charlie. We're sure not talking tuna here.
A person can only take so much joy and happiness, after all.
So on May 30, 2013, I put in my notice, and my last day was Wednesday, June 26. I'd thought about doing this for some time, but once I made up my mind, it happened pretty quickly.
And so this is day 2 of my non-captivity. The liberation hasn't yet sunk in, nor will it I figure for a couple of weeks. I've had a dayjob of some kind for the past 27 years, so not having one is not a reality I've experienced lately(except maybe for getting laid-off for awhile in '94). That will take some time to fully register.
No, for now it just feels like I'm on vacation, and a long-awaited one at that. Yesterday had that characteristic first-vacation-day fatigue/relief and numbness, and today much the same only with a bit of sensation returning.
For what seems like the longest time, the work has been just non-stop. Fewer and fewer staff, and(with these office closures)more and more clients. Right up to my last day(except for the festivities of course)things were super-busy. Clients lined up some 10-15 deep, and chaos all around the lobby. I felt like I was jumping off a moving train.
I know this will be something I'll experience more as time goes on: the contrast between what was the all-day craziness of the office, to the all-day quietude of home. The sense of whew, like a big weight has been lifted. Plus there'll be a point when I finally realize that I'm not on vacation, that I'm not coming back.
Curious as to what that will feel like. I'm sure a bit revelatory. "Gee Toto, I guess we're not in Kansas anymore".
For now, welcome to my IDES afterlife. More as it happens.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.